"Gavin, you've been practicing your eye contact..."

By now you’ve heard the news that former two-term U.S. president Bill Clinton is endorsing two-term San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom.

When you think about it, it makes perfect sense – they are both accomplished two-timers.

But this political romance is more about Clinton’s hate of Jerry Brown, than his affectation for the man-child mayor. Or so says conventional wisdom.

Sure, Newsom endorsed Hillary before she lost to my main man, B.  But even I don’t think that’s enough political skin to earn an ounce of flesh from WJC.

No, I’m sure Bill Clinton finally saw the opportunity to fuck over his 1992 nemesis. That’s what got the former president to unzip for this endorsement.

But it ain’t no thing.

Clinton will host maybe two-fundraising events for Newsom and maybe raise one or two million bucks for the Gavinator from Hollyweird. That’s not even enough scrillah for a fair game of catch up in the money race.

After the fundraisers, Clinton won’t waste political capital on the SS Gavin Newsom.

Time to go back to bartending?

Sources inside San Francisco City Hall and close to the Newsom campaign say it’s just a matter of time before Gavin Newsom quits his bid for the Democratic Party nomination in the 2010 California governor’s race.

Citing poor results in polls both statewide and locally and little fundraising traction, supporters and detractors alike say the Newsom campaign is a ship about to sink.

They point to over-the-summer stories of key long-time aides jumping ship and the fact that Gary South, his paid statewide campaign consultant, is failing to build team chemistry between remaining loyalists, as well as inspiring new people to join the team.

Additionally, sources close to Alex Tourk (the former best friend and campaign manager of Gavin Newsom) cited that renewed and damaging sex scandal allegations were privately presented to the Newsom campaign team.

Tourk allies, upset over Newsom’s attempt to rewrite history in recent interviews with national publications, told the Newsom for California campaign through intermediaries that more details of Newsom’s past would be leaked to national media.

Differences in strategy on how to continually message and spin Newsom’s sordid past was one major reason given as to why Eric Jaye, Gavin’s former long-time political advisor and consultant, left the struggling gubernatorial campaign.

As to the timing of his announcement to quit the governor’s race, sources close to Jaye say that Newsom will wait until the birth of his child and cite that major life event as the excuse for withdrawing from the race.

These anonymous sources say that there will be an “I am quitting the governor’s race so I can spend more time with my family” press release, sometime this fall around Halloween.

At least Gavin has a fall-back job — he can finally be mayor of San Francisco.

More likely, he’ll run for a less competitive statewide office or just go back to being a bartender at Plumpjack.

"Here's looking at you, Ruby..."

Gavin Newsom just loves to talk about sex.

Maybe he can’t stop talking about it because he’s a blathering sex junkie.

Of course I’m talking about the affair Newsom had with his best friend’s wife while she worked for him.

SF Weekly thinks there’s a sex tape even as the SF Examiner ponders why he won’t shut up about it. You’d think he’d just let the story die.

I’ve always said the man-child mayor needs media training, but for some reason he just wants to keep telling the Ruby Rippey-Tourk sex scandal story, over and over again.

Gavin is probably just channeling Wendy O. Williams.

Gawker — Gavin Newsom is now spinning the resume of wife.

If Jennifer Siebel Newsom were a successful Hollywood player, her Tinseltown celebrity would surely help her husband’s run for office.  But she’s not.

Oddly, Newsom doesn’t mention the one movie in which Jennifer did legitimately play a starring role: The Trouble With Romance.

The airless fragmented feature film, which had a brief theatrical run in New York City in February and March, showed her disrobing for a threeway.

I think Siebel Newsom is a decent actress and has been involved in some worthy charitable causes, but clearly the Newsom campaign team would prefer not to mention her most prominent starring movie.

Unlike her husband and his campaign team, she is proud of her body of work and mentions The Trouble with Romance on her official website.

Mary Van Note is inspired to make changes in her career when she realizes the object of her romantic obsessions, Mayor Gavin Newsom, would never bang a deli working loser.  A personal banker, maybe.

The Mary Van Note Show

A while back, Mayor Gavin had an affair with the wife of his best friend and campaign manager, Alex Tourk.  Guess he never heard the line “don’t dip your pen in the company inkwell” — “don’t fish off the company pier” is one of my favorites.

…deep down smart voters suspect this: You’re probably just a frat boy.

Schtupped your best friend’s wife while she worked for you in your office?

The man code be broken now.

The happy couple demonstrates the future of procreation in zero gravity space.

Gawker reports that with memories of his messy personal life still fresh, and his main cause Proposition 8 defeated in the last state election, Gavin’s push for the governor’s seat looked like it was off to a rocky start.

Now, with Gavin’s wife expecting a child in the fall, ValleyWag’s Owen Thomas thinks Gavin Newsom may have the perfect family-man campaign prop.

What better way for a claimant to the throne to seem young and vital than to have his very own hair, uh, we mean heir!

The family man narrative sure helps voters forget that Gavin Newsom once slept with his good friend’s wife not too long ago.

Can somebody please confirm that Newsom is the father and not this guy?

"A fresh mint Mohito drink really can cover the scent of alcohol on your breath."

Do you know how you can tell Gavin Newsom is a celebrity?

When Newsom got into media trouble for sleeping with his best friend’s wife he blamed his shameful behavior on the booze.

In blaming a substance and not himself, Newsom joins this creep in avoiding responsibility.

All of this is comically ironic as alcohol is what Gavin built his business life upon. Good times!

So he does a mea culpa spin job, and then enters “drive-through rehab” which would make any sober 12-stepper scoff.

Gavin Newsom stopped short of calling himself an alcoholic. “I don’t need to drink wine, and I don’t think it’s helpful right now,” he said.

Um, right.

"Are you into mergers and acquisitions?"

crymeariver asks “Why does womanizing advance the career of Gavin Newsom and hurt the career of Bill Clinton, and what does this say about our society?”

Everyone lets Gavin Newsom off the hook because people look up to him and want to be like him, because he bangs hot chicks.

We as a society reward beauty and punish ugly.

If Clinton was hooking up with the kinda ass that Newsom pulls, would we have let him off the hook?  Our guess is yes.

It was not too long ago Newsweek reported that after his divorce from Fox News commentator Kimberly Guilfoyle, Gavin had become a man about town, spotted at all the fashionable Marina district clubs with various beautiful women on his arm.

But the chatter over Newsom’s dating life took a sharp turn away from mere amusement, when the mayor admitted he’d had an affair with a female staffer who happened to be married to one of Gavin’s best friends.

Being a hedonist is not a disability in San Francisco…You can get loaded every single night of the week and as long as you show up crisp and ready for work each morning, that’s what people care about.

In the end, I think people care about integrity of their elected leaders. They especially care about how you treat your paid staff and your close personal friends.

And voters care about whether you will show up for them in a crisis. And they care whether you actually show up to work.