"He is like a Wizard of Oz creation."

Bay Guardian — There are two Gavin Newsoms: the mayor San Franciscans have gotten to know over the last six years, and the candidate running for governor.

The contrast is dramatic. The central persona being pushed by the Newsom campaign seems like pure fiction to most San Franciscans.

Going through the issues on Newsom’s campaign Web site, there are a startling number of claims that just don’t match his record.

(Newsom) is an empty, sad guy and his handlers have managed to create a persona that is fake and false.

Newsom has received repeated condemnations from the Sunshine Ordinance Task Force for withholding public documents and information, from internal e-mail to his daily schedule.  What’s he hiding?

The man-child mayor is counting on young, low-information voters and women to boost his chances for governor.

Newsom’s campaign for governor is a pitch perfect example of how you market and sell and empty suit.

The lights are off and nobody's home.

The Chronicle — Gavin Newsom has been increasingly absent from San Francisco, and his decision to enter the 2010 race for California governor means now he’s MIA for good.

Gavin Newsom has spent the equivalent of more than nine months traveling outside of California since he became mayor in 2004, in addition to his frequent in-state trips to Sacramento or Southern California.

His regular absences – particularly the recent ones that have coincided with ever-worsening news about the city’s budget deficit – have prompted some accusations that Newsom seems more devoted to his own agenda than he is to San Francisco.

Critics say it’s problematic because the city faces a $576 million budget deficit for the coming fiscal year, representing the worst fiscal crisis in San Francisco since the Great Depression.

Newsom’s critics, most of them speaking privately (for fear of retribution) say it’s a question of how much face time he gives the city.

Department heads have complained of feeling abandoned by the mayor at a time when they’re being asked to make deep budget cuts.

It seems he’s always somewhere else — and let’s be real — long-distance relationships never work especially with a mayor.  I guess he’s just not that into me.

Marriage equality hero Dennis Herrera.

Whether you like it or not, Gavin Newsom’s campaign for marriage equality has been a controlled performance from the get-go.

Gavin took no position on marriage equality during his first run for Mayor in 2003, but his main opponent did.

When Newsom and his political consultants realized that many LGBT leaders and activists didn’t support his first Mayoral campaign, Gavin realized he needed to win them over with his budding political career.

Gavin bought the idea for same sex marriage from his paid political consultant Eric Jaye, the PG&E money maker.

So, the man-child mayor isn’t this story’s real hero — he’s just the pretty face and hair.

The real hero of marriage equality is this guy San Francisco City Attorney Dennis Herrera and his legal team in the City Attorney’s office.

If you live outside the city you’ve probably never heard of Dennis the Civil Rights Menace:

The mayor may get all the credit, or blame, for pushing the marriage-equality issue before the Supreme Court, but the person who deserves it—San Francisco’s real Marrying Man—is Herrera.

Seems that the brain of Gavin W. Bush is actually in the office of his paid political consultant and the city attorney’s office.

"At least my shoes are new and shiny."

The Chronicle — San Francisco’s annual budget of $6.5 billion dollars would make it No. 376 on the Fortune 500 list, but Mayor Gavin Newsom and his department heads have made it almost impossible for the Average Joe to see whether that money’s being well spent.

A civil grand jury was convened and came to the obvious conclusion that most of us have already figured out — Gavin is a man-child mayor.

The mayor cancelled two meetings he had scheduled with the grand jury during its investigation.

A citizen in San Francisco would have even more difficulty digging out the facts on City efficiency than the Jury did.

The City has invested in both people and systems to set and manage annual operational goals in a systematic way under the general term of Performance Measurement.

Regrettably, that management process does not deliver on its promise of making City operations effective and efficient.

The Grand Jury found that the primary cause of the failure to deliver on the promise of Performance Measurement is lack of leadership on the part of the Mayor and his department heads.

The Jury makes a number of recommendations to rectify this situation, the most important being that the Mayor take charge by managing the City by the numbers, rather than just publicizing those favorable to him.  Snap!

Dear Gavin, we've got your back. Love, PG&E.

Gavin loves to talk green.  “Look at the green garden I planted in front of City Hall.”  Pretty!  “Look at my hybrid SUV.” Gee whiz!

Now look at this awesome project with no scientific efficacy whatsoever.  “My corporate money maker PG&E told me to support it.  They said they’d give me sum more money…”

I love you PG&E!

PG&E then paid for Gavin’s new twitter facebook friends to get drunk at his party.

You know, so the the young kids will think he’s cool.  AT&T ponied up some money too.  $100,000 total.

Gavin is a tool of corporate interests, especially PG&E.

As blogger Bob Brigham wrote in 2008:

Siding with PG&E against the Sierra Club and opposing the San Francisco Clean Energy Act on this year’s ballot is a clear indication Mayor Newsom has no plans on winning the Democrat nomination for Governor in 2010….siding with PG&E against the Sierra Club to oppose Clean Energy is about the worst thing you can do.”

Gavin is as green as hell is cold.  If you believe in hell, I mean.

San Francisco definitely has enough staplers but Gavin Newsom's IT department is in total shambles.

Let it ring out — Gavin Newsom is tech savvy!  Yippee!

How did he become tech savvy?  Well gentle readers he announced his bid for governor on Twitter and Facebook.

For those of you who just returned to earth these are two sites where people announce they are hung over, have herpes, and basically act like hysterical twats.

I’m sure the man-child mayor is even more proud of his technology chops when it comes to managing the actual information technology of San Francisco.

Isn’t that the professional measure of tech savvy?

Gavin Newsom’s system is so well designed and managed, that ONE MAN locked the WHOLE CITY out of system administration:

Not only was Terry Childs the only admin, he was always on call, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. As the only admin with the knowledge and access to the FiberWAN, he had no help. During the past few years, the DTIS staff has been significantly reduced due to budget cuts, keeping the city dependent on a sole admin for its core network.

With newly acquired kneepads, Gavin begged Childs for the password in jail.  Shortest jailhouse bromance in history, I’m sure.

Oh those pesky tech workers with their god complexes!  Maybe Childs just was trying to show how flimsy Gavin’s IT system and department is:

When I asked Terry if we could get a copy of the City’s network security policy some months ago, he told me, ‘I’ve been trying to get them to approve one for years. I’ve written ones up and submitted them, but they don’t want to do it, because they don’t want to be held to it.

It’s a known fact that San Franciso’s criminal justice computers don’t talk to each other, and City Hall still uses 10 year old desktop computers running Lotus notes or some other combination of paperclips and bubble gum.

Gavin pumps $200 million a year into IT and has little to show for it.

Savvvvvy?

Gavin Newsom is really Richie Rich.

The Chronicle — Gavin Newsom portrays himself as a self-made businessman and a political outsider, but he’s not.

Gavin Newsom has reaped huge financial benefits from his ties to old money and power in San Francisco particularly with his lifelong association with Gordon P. Getty, one of the nation’s richest men.

Getty, 69, billionaire heir to an oil fortune and friend of Newsom’s family for 50 years, helped Newsom become a millionaire by investing in every important venture of the supervisor’s business career.

Getty, or trusts and firms he controls, is lead investor on 10 of Newsom’s 11 businesses, including his PlumpJack group of wine, restaurant, resort and real estate ventures. “Plump Jack” is the name of an opera Getty wrote.

And while Newsom contends that Gordon Getty is only one financial backer of many, records show Getty is Gavin Newsom’s top outside investor, either individually or through his firms and family trusts.

It must be very nice to have such wealthy friends.

"...Margaret, please don't say those things about me."

Anyone else notice that Gavin seems insecure around smart, independent women?

In fact, he seems so insecure that he likes to fire them.

He fired former SF Public Utilities Commission chief Susan Leal which cost taxpayers $500,000 to pay the severance in her contract that Gavin approved when he first appointed Leal to the post.

It’s too bad Gavin didn’t pay the $500,000 severance out of his own pocket like he did for his former buddy.

He then fired Margaret Brodkin, who was formerly the head of San Francisco’s Departmet of Children, Youth, and their Families, even though most local children’s advocates felt Brodkin was very effective in her job.

Around City Hall, it’s not surprising that most folks believe these women were fired because they were strong advocates for their agencies and not just rubber stamps for the Mayor’s personal agenda.

Maybe Gavin Newsom should add this song to his iPod:

"A fresh mint Mohito drink really can cover the scent of alcohol on your breath."

Do you know how you can tell Gavin Newsom is a celebrity?

When Newsom got into media trouble for sleeping with his best friend’s wife he blamed his shameful behavior on the booze.

In blaming a substance and not himself, Newsom joins this creep in avoiding responsibility.

All of this is comically ironic as alcohol is what Gavin built his business life upon. Good times!

So he does a mea culpa spin job, and then enters “drive-through rehab” which would make any sober 12-stepper scoff.

Gavin Newsom stopped short of calling himself an alcoholic. “I don’t need to drink wine, and I don’t think it’s helpful right now,” he said.

Um, right.

Some people say that this still is the game of choice in Room 200 at City Hall.

Rumors persist to this day that people in City Hall love that white stuff.  I’m not talking about Cremora folks.

The cocaine rumor became public after Gavin Newsom admitted to having an affair with an aide who also was his campaign manager’s wife, and he said he was seeking treatment for alcohol abuse.

Newsom angrily responded to a reporters’ questions about whether he used the drug:

Newsom did not directly answer the cocaine question, instead calling the rumors “absolutely laughable.”

And following these revelations, the man-child mayor gave a television interview during which he was asked about whether rumors circulating at City Hall about him using cocaine were true.

Did he or didn’t he?

Ask the pretty party people in San Francisco to find out for yourself.